It’s Not What You Think. A Marriage and Family Therapist in LA Tells the Truth

Tara slammed her car door. She stood outside a busy café in Los Angeles. She stared at her phone. Her hands shook. “He’s leaving. Because of our fights,” she whispered.

Does this sound like you? 

You sit across from your partner. You’re both tired. You’ve been married for years. You have kids. A house. Bills. You still care—but it feels hard.

You think about therapy, but it seems scary. Or strange. Or like something only people with big problems do.

But what if therapy wasn’t what you think? What if a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles didn’t judge you? What if they listened kindly and helped you feel calm? What if they used real tools that work—and didn’t just say, “And how does that make you feel?”

Let’s talk about what therapy looks like.

Why Couples Resist Therapy in LA

Many couples think therapy is only for when things are bad. They think they’ll go once, say sorry, and fix everything. But that’s not how therapy works.

Fredman et al. (2024) looked at 64 couples who had been through trauma. That’s 128 people. What did they find?

Big emotions. Lots of fear. A hard time talking.

Here’s what the study showed:

• Men who had PTSD feared emotions the most (β = .72)

• Women did too, but a bit less (β = .49)

• Fear made talking harder for both

• Couples got stuck in patterns like one person pushing and the other pulling away

Key point: The feelings weren’t the problem. Fear of feelings was.

Myth vs. Truth

• Myth: “Therapy is just talking.”
  Truth: Therapy is feeling. If you don’t feel, you don’t grow.

• Myth: “We need to fix our problems.”
  Truth: You’re not broken. You need safety, not fixing.

• Real Talk:

• When people feel safe, they speak better

• When a partner feels calm, the other does, too

• That’s where healing starts

A licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles helps build this safety. There is no pressure or judgment. There’s only space to speak freely.

How Psychodynamic Therapy Helps

People hear “psychodynamic” and think of old-school therapy. Lying on couches and talking about dreams.

But Trotta et al. (2024) say otherwise. They reviewed 22 studies on psychodynamic therapy. That’s a lot of data. Here’s what they found:

• Therapy worked way better than doing nothing

• Big change: Hedges’ g = 1.24

• It helped with sadness, anxiety, and stress

• Compared to other types of therapy?

• Not much difference

• But still strong results

Psychodynamic therapy works best for young adults and people going through tough times.

It Focuses On:

• Feelings Over Facts

• We follow your heart, not a checklist

• Patterns Over Scripts

• We look for old habits that keep repeating

• Depth Over Surface

• We don’t just ask what happened.

• We ask, “Why does this keep happening?”

This type of therapy helps you feel understood, not labeled. And a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles uses these tools every day.

EMDR + Couples Therapy = Real Change

You may think couples therapy is just arguing in front of someone. But there’s something different now. It’s called EMDR. And it works.

Doğan et al. (2021) tested a new type of EMDR called the EMDR Couple Protocol. They worked with 18 couples. Here’s what happened:

• Relationship happiness jumped way up (η² = 0.944)

• Sadness went down (η² = 0.385)

• Anxiety also dropped (η² = 0.258)

• And three months later? The changes stayed strong.

What’s Different?

• They sat together during therapy

• They targeted shared pain

• They watched each other heal in real time.

Why It Works:

• Trauma in the Room

• They worked on things they lived through together

• Connection After Crisis

• Seeing your partner heal helps you trust again

• Feeling vs. Flashbacks

• You don’t have to relive pain to release it

A licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles trained in EMDR can guide this process. And at Addison Golden Psychotherapy, couples don’t heal alone—they heal together.

Mindfulness & Body-Based Healing

Mindfulness isn’t just deep breathing or sitting still. It’s science. And it works.

Raugh et al. (2025) looked at over 2,000 studies. They picked the best 110 trials. That’s 8105 people. Here’s what they found:

• Mindfulness helped people manage emotions

• Effect size: g = .28

• Equanimity (calm acceptance) worked best

• Effect size: g = .30

• Monitoring (watching your feelings) helped, too

• But not as strong: g = .17

What Does That Mean?

• You can change how you respond to stress

• You can calm down without running away

• You can feel safer in your own body.

Tools I Teach 

• Breath Builds Calm

• Breathe slowly. It helps your brain feel safe

• Sensation Anchors You

• Feel your feet. Feel your seat. You’re here now

• Present Beats Past

• Old pain doesn’t have to rule today

I use mindfulness in therapy every day. You don’t need to chant or sit cross-legged. You just need to notice, breathe, and stay.

Specialized Services in LA

Many people search for “marriage and family therapist near me in Los Angeles.” They want someone close—or the one who fits their schedule.

At Addison Golden Psychotherapy, here’s what I offer:

• Free Consultation (20 min) — Ask anything. Get a feel.

• Initial Intake (60 min) — Tell your story. Set goals.

• Return Sessions (50 min) — Grow together. Week by week.

Whether it’s couples therapy, premarital counseling, or online sessions, I’m here. Therapy should feel easy to start and worth continuing.

Affordable, Inclusive, Christian Options

Looking for an affordable family therapist in Los Angeles? Want Christian marriage counseling that respects your beliefs?

You’re in the right place.

Here’s what I offer:

• Sliding scale — Pay what you can

• Faith-based options — If your faith matters, I honor that

• Safe space — No shame. Just respect

Real help should feel safe for your heart and your wallet.

Why Addison Golden Psychotherapy Stands Out

I bring together the best tools:

• Psychodynamic therapy

• EMDR

• Mindfulness

• Internal Family Systems (IFS)

I believe in growth, not blame. I believe change takes safety, not speed.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to show up.

🔍 FAQ

Q: What does a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles do?

A: I help couples, families, and individuals. I use proven tools. I follow L.A. license laws.

Q: How long does therapy take?

A: Most couples come for 6 to 12 weeks, sometimes longer. It depends on your goals.

Q: What is premarital counseling in Los Angeles?

A: It’s therapy before marriage. We talk about money, love, kids, trust, and values.

Q: How do I know if therapy is right for us?

A: Try the free consultation. Ask your questions. See how I listen.

Q: Can I do therapy online?

A: Yes! I offer telehealth. It’s easy and private. Great for busy people.

Q: Can therapy include my faith?

A: Yes. I offer Christian marriage counseling in Los Angeles that’s respectful and caring.

Q: Is there affordable therapy in LA?

A: Yes. I offer a sliding scale. Help should be available to more people.

Final Thoughts

You might think therapy is only for big problems. But what if it’s not?

What if therapy helps you feel calm again? What if it enables you to understand your partner—and yourself? What if it brings back trust, peace, and hope?

A licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles like me, Addison Golden, offers real tools. I don’t give advice. I help you notice patterns. I don’t blame. I guide healing.

Ready to stop guessing? Let’s connect and see if we’re the right fit.

Your story matters. Let’s work with it—not against it.